Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize