you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
