It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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