Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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