he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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