Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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