I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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