to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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