In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize
