just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
