The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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