I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
