We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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