you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize