how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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