i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He passed out mid-signature
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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