I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
