ugly people sure do ruin things
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
