I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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