The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't tell me you're on acid again
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
