My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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