I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
