I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i think im in europe. pls send help
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
