one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
