Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize