I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
