does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize