i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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