Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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