Im at strip club and am horny
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
