look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
