Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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