it's great music for shaving your balls
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
