So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
