quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
