I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
