If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
