your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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