adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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