love makes seman taste better
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize