hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He? As in you personified your dick?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
