Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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