I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
