using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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