FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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