I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I understand Curling. That high.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
