Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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