Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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