Do vagina's smell?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
