Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
