I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
