You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
