people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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