Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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