Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
