i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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