I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize