I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
