hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
