I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
