paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am naked and annoyed.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
