I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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