sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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